The short answer is: Because if I didn’t I would go crazy and die.

The long answer is a little more involved. Let’s talk. C’mon down the basement.

Ever since I was a little kid, I have been obsessed with folklore and myth. From my little kid’s copy of Bulfinch’s Mythology, to my subscription to The Mighty Thor, to the Freddy Krueger movies I watched way too much, I think my skullmeats are hardwired for story.

And when you think of it, the stories we tell kids are fucking HORRIBLE. Two neglected children menaced by cannibal. Girl locked in tower, unable to get haircut. Farmgirl concussed in tornado hallucinates magical world that is not Dust Bowl-era Kansas.

Ever see “Watership Down?” Cartoon about bunnies my ass.

So, yeah, that’s part of it. Centuries of fucked-up fairy tales twisted my brain, sure.

But why all the monsters?

Look around. The monsters are everywhere. I do people a favor by slapping tentacles on them. Makes it easier to deal with.

If a Thing shambles out of a dark corner, you know what to do, how to react. Run, scream, or hit the motherfucker with a 2×4. That’s easy. That’s baked-in knowledge. Instinct.

The monsters in real life, though, they look just like anybody. They don’t have horns or flabby, dripping paws or eyes that burn like coals. They’re the ones you need to watch out for.

Maybe I hope to show you the monsters in their easily-digested scaly forms so you’ll know when to swing.

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I’m still working out the ins-and-outs of blogging. I’m not very good at it. I wanted to put some freebie fiction on the page somewhere, but that looks like a colossal pain in the prick. Maybe I’ll do it as a newsletter. I don’t know–early days, still.

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I’m working on several short stories for a SEEKRIT PROJEKT that I hope to be able to announce by summertime.

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Reading recommendations: you love ’em, I have ’em.

The Bread We Eat In Dreams by Catherynne Valente. I would read her shopping lists. I don’t think she’s capable of making something sound less than sumptuous. Amazon

Cassilda’s Song, edited by Joseph S. Pulver. Wonderful stories in the King In Yellow mythos, all done by woman authors. Tremendous. Amazon

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I think I’ve taken up enough of your time, and I appreciate every second of it. Watch this space, and tell your friends. Until next time, good day from the Midatlantic Coastal Plain of the United States.